Thursday, September 24, 2009

Goldman Sachs the World’s Greatest Innovator - They Never Let us Down!

The World’s greatest investment bank Goldman Sachs, where supposedly only the finest brains find employment, has done it again! After having done a brilliant job milking the U.S. tax payer out of billions, they find themselves salivating over an estimated $16 billion bonus pool. Given that Goldman’s market cap is about $93 billion, a bonus pool that is 17% of their market cap, now that’s a tax payer and shareholder rip off only Goldman can pull!
So pray what could be these brainiacs new headache? Divvying up the booty in a way that is least offensive to the tax payer and shareholders of course!
In case you just had a mild panic attack fearing how they will live without their billions, worry not coz our heroes have found a solution (although convoluted, so please keep up).
You see, as The New York Post reports, Why not pay everyone a ton of ‘long-term’ stock and then use the $16 billion to buy back GS shares? Hah hah, problem solved and everyone goes home happy. Who needs true patriots when we have our self-centered Goldmanites?
Of course no one will question the real wisdom of not paying the bonuses and keeping the $16 billion on their balance sheet as reserves in case they screw up again? Why do that when the Fed stands ready to lend a helping hand.
They make Sugar Daddies Bernanke and Geithner so Proud! Sniff…

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