Goldman’s “Shock and Awe” Campaign to Rebuild America: “Bringing Fresh Produce to a San Francisco neighborhood”

The venerable Goldman Sachs, a highly successful marketing machine that has the entire world convinced that their "brightest of the bright" workforce need ever larger sacks of money to keep on glowing brightly, has finally managed to get tripped up. So what could possibly have short-circuited our brightest bulbs?

How about trying to answer a simple question, “what has been Goldman's contribution to rebuilding America?" (This of course, after they played a critical role in bringing the country down on its knees).

Now this is a question that the goldies are attempting to answer on their own website, in a bid to convince the public that they deserve their bonuses. One click on the loudly displayed banner "Rebuilding Together" on Goldman's front page, and you are presented with…(hold your breath)…a largely blank page where the goldie light bulbs have posted their pathetic answers. We copy paste from their website with our responses below:

Restoring our capital markets; rebuilding our national infrastructure

Bridges, schools, highways, public power and mass transit. During 2009, Goldman Sachs has been involved in numerous Build America Bonds transactions. We’re proud to play a role in rebuilding our nation’s capital markets and its infrastructure, while bringing much-needed jobs to local communities.

Ahem, what can we say - we are SPEECHLESS at your generosity for DOING your job as an investment bank. While underwriting the bonds to rebuild America, you did not by any chance contemplate WAIVING the millions in fees that you collected, did ya? You did not sit back for a minute and say “Hey the American tax payers saved our behinds, so could we perhaps help municipalities and states governments issue debt for FREE as a thank you?” No you did NOT. Generosity as far as you are considered is a one way street…our pockets to yours.

Helping to provide funds to build and revitalize schools.

Goldman Sachs structured and brought the first Qualified School Construction Bonds (QSCBs) financing to market in April, 2009, establishing the market standard for QSCB financings.

We all know that Goldman in reality is a hedge fund masquerading as a bank. So we understand that for Goldman to do its mundane investment banking duties is a huge stretch…but humor us will ya? We aren’t that stupid you know.

Some investment returns can’t be measured in numbers

Building affordable “green” design apartments in New York City. Bringing fresh produce to a San Francisco neighborhood.

“Bringing fresh produce”…THIS is Goldman’s CONTRIBUTION?? We are BEYOND outraged. What are farmers for? And pray, who exactly has the money these days to buy a “green” apartment in NYC? The Goldie geniuses of course...how else do they spend their sacks of money that they looted from the taxpayer?

“Some investment returns can’t be measured in numbers” Now this one is PRICELESS fit to be in a MasterCard ad. Yeah, masquerading as a bank sure has its perks. How else would you get 1) access to 10-100x leverage 2)$10bn TARP bailout 3)$30bn in FDIC subsidized dirt cheap debt 4)$13bn from AIG, 5) unlimited access to the Fed’s liquidity and 6) “if-you-fail-we’ll catch ya”, too big to fail taxpayer rescue guarantee.

The freedom to borrow billions of taxpayer capital to freely gamble with, and THEN keep ALL the profits for yourself is truly PRICELESS. Only a genius THIEF, like Goldman could pull such a stunt.