Saturday, December 12, 2009

We Propose a Special H-1B Visa to Import Cheaper More Competent CEOs for Banks

It appears that there is a huge shortage of competent bank CEOs in America who are willing to do the job at a reasonable cost to shareholders. Case in point being Bank of America's desperate search for a CEO. After hurriedly tossing off the public perception albatross CEO Ken Lewis from their necks in October, Bank of America has been trying to find a replacement CEO. And they would have found one had it not been for one minor detail - compensation. It seems that Bank of America cannot find anyone to work under the pay czar's $500,000 cash + generous-to-unlimited stock compensation rules.

Mr. Robert Kelly, CEO of Bank of New York Mellon, who has been eyeing Bank of America's CEO slot for sometime, has nevertheless been hustling for more $'s by playing hard to get. After putting out a strongly worded letter saying he does not want the CEO job, Kelly has now had a change of heart. And pray, what possibly changed our femme fatale's mind? How about the whiff of a fatter pre-nup, from a desperate Bank of America which hurriedly arranged to pay off $45 billion in TARP money, in order to get pay czar Feinberg off their back. And what off the $118 billion tax payer blanket guarantee on Bank of America's worthless loans? That will be cleverly brushed under the carpet so that it does not come in Kelly's way of receiving a fat cat bonus.

Which is why we are proposing the introduction of a special H-1B visa category for Bank CEOs. After all this is one job "regular" Americans don't seem to want to do. And since corporate America has so eagerly slashed American worker wages by shipping jobs overseas, why don't we expose our bank CEOs to the same winds of globalisation? There are plenty of competent CEOs in India & China who will gladly do the job for half the cost, saving shareholders a bundle and boosting the stock market in return.

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